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dont_piss_me_off_by_chalana98-d4tltxmWhen I heard the garage door, I came out of the bedroom.  The two of them, back from dance class, ran to greet me. “BBeeeee,” “girrrrrls,” and hugs ensued.

“I have something to tell you,” exclaimed H1.
“Me too. Me too. Can I go first? Can I? Pleaaaaase,” said H2.
Her sister conceded as usual.

H2 then handed me an invitation that read:

Dear family, please come to my open house and see our eggs.
Date: April 23rd.

Eggs? What the heck are eggs? Did she misspell something? Well, we will learn soon. 

Her sister had verbally invited us a few days before.

I must admit by now for pure self-protection, I have lowered my expectations of them. If you have no expectations, you won’t be disappointed. But you can be pleasantly surprised when they invite you to events of their own volition.

I hugged and thanked her. “Of course I’ll be there.”

What did the book say about stepmoms being excluded? Pshaw. What’s up with these therapists making blanket statements.  Each family is different. I’m referring to the book, Stepmonster. It has some good information, but as you can see obviously not all of it applies in every case.

Open house day came. We started with the little one’s class. She excitedly took us around her class, surprising the teacher at the detailed tour she was giving us. They had incubated eggs, which would hatch in three days. By the egg table they had a table with little books made by the kiddos.

“Read my story book.” We picked it up and started going through it.
Title: My Trip to Disneyland.

Ooh let’s see what parts of our trip she remembered.  

Page 1: “I went to Disney land with my dad and my sister.”

WTF?! You ungrateful tyke!
Who took you on the rides you wanted to go on and your sister didn’t?
Who carried you from one side of the park to the other because your feet hurt?
Whose lap did you sit on at the theater?

Who didn’t go to her Persian New year’s celebration with her family during the trip (which she was dying to go to), because you wished she would stay with you all?
Who carried your bags and whatever else you didn’t want to carry?
Who answered to all the BB do this, BB brush my hair, I want BB to do it?
Who helped you decide what doll to buy?
I didn’t even want to go to Disney, but went because I had promised the two of you that I would.
What am I? A ghost?

I’m not sure what’s a better threat: I will NEVER go on family vacations with you all. Or I’ll be sure to attend every flipping event. I’ll be in your face all. the. time.

Ok. I stand corrected. I meant low expectations not no expectations.

Damn you, book.